Time to refocus: 5 simple steps to find your own paths to happiness

You´re overwhelmed of your daily life, get stressed easily and feel like you don´t even know on which path you are walking on? Don´t worry, I totally feel you and so many others do the same. Sometimes we focus so much on the little things of our everyday life that we loose the bigger picture out of our minds. We tend to forget our long-term goals and sometimes we are not even sure which are our own values. Whenever I recognize that I´m feeling overwhelmed for a couple of days in a row I use this exercise to refocus.

Whenever I feel lost I use this exercise to refocus on my own goals, the life I want to create and the person I want to be. Klick um zu Tweeten

Today I am sharing my refocus exercise with you and hope that it will help you to destress and refocus on your own goals, the life you want to create and the person you want to be in the future.

Step 1: THE MOMENT OF NOW

It is so important to let go of the past and to live in the moment of now. Often we think about past events that upset us or that we haven´t processed yet, instead of fully concentrating on the situation that we currently are in. Or we are so afraid of the future, that we can´t really enjoy the moment right now.

Exercise: For the rest of today try to concentrate only on the things you are doing right now. In this moment for example you are reading a blog post. You don´t have to worry about what you will cook yourself for dinner tonight yet nor does it matter which things might have bothered you in the morning. Right in this moment the only thing that matters is that you are reading. Enjoy this moment fully.

Step 2: RECAPTURE YOUR SUCCESSES

Think about the moments that made you happy in the past. Which are your biggest successes, what are you most proud of and when did you feel the most fulfilled? Also think about what is important for you in general or which things motivate you. Don´t rate those moments yet, just write everything done that comes into your mind. This can be everything that gives you a good or proud feeling. Maybe you´ve been super proud of the birthday cake you made for a friend, you loved the day of your graduation or you have a talent that you ever won a prize for. Write it all down on a paper.
Don´t judge your thoughts, no one else will see this paper so if you are maybe proud of something that might seem like a little thing to others but was a big accomplishment to you than put it on the list as well. Take your time with it, this step can even go over a few days if you need time to think about it.

Take one step at a time. It might be slow progress, but quitting won´t make it any faster.

Step 3: ANALYZE YOUR VALUES

To find out which are your values and what is truly important to you, you only have to look on the list that you just wrote. You see which things made you happy in the past, so if you want to feel happy in the future you only have to create more moments that are similar to those ones. You can use your list as a guideline.
So look on your list and maybe take some markers in different colors. Now mark things that belong in the same category with the same color. You can choose the categories yourself, but here are some examples: family, career, sporty, friendship, a personal talent like baking, helping others, winning something, traveling, a relationship/marriage etc.
This exercise will help you to understand your own values better. Are you mainly proud of career successes or is it more important for you to spend time with your family; do you care more about exploring the world or does it fulfill you to help others.
Find out which are your main values and which are the ones that you also care about, but that are on a second level.

Step 4: CREATE A FUTURE VISION

If everything would be possible, who would you like to be in the future? Now that you know your values you can brainstorm about which things you would like to do or achieve in the future to create more happy and successful moments for yourself. Important Reminder: limiting beliefs like I don´t have the time/skills/money for that are not allowed. Keep your mind open and let all the ideas flash in. This is the moment to dream big. Think about the life that you want to create for yourself and than double your wishes up. Make them bigger, because most of us tend to think that what we wish for is not possible, so we don´t ask for it.
Write a vision statement: Now that you got a list with some things that you would like to do, write them down in sentences. Make it a short story that you write about yourself. Read it afterwards and check if it gives you butterflies to read those words. It´s okay if you feel a bit nervous, but the paper should make you also proud and a bit excited. If it doesn´t frighten you to read what you just wrote, than you didn´t dreamed big enough. Go ahead, do it again, but this time go for the biggest successes you can have in mind for yourself.

Step 5: STOP LIMITING YOURSELF

What´s stopping you? Look at the vision statement you just wrote about yourself. Analyze what are the differences between you and that person. What would you need to change, to become like the person you want to be.

Example: Let´s say you love swimming and would like to spend more time on it and secretly you actually would love to win a medal, but you´re too afraid to loose and therefor you´ve never joined a contest. Well if you never even try, you will definitely not win. But not because you are not good enough, only because you never tried. So think about your goal. What did other successful swimmers do before they won a medal? Sure they probably trained regularly. But they also joined a team, have a mentor or couch and they have loved ones who support them. With some goals it is helpful to tell the people in your surroundings, so they can help you to reach it.

The only person that is stopping you from reaching your goal is Y O U Klick um zu Tweeten

So how can you make it possible in your life?

At this stage there will be lots of limiting beliefs in your mind. Typically I´m not smart/good/pretty/fit/talented etc. enough. These thoughts are not the reality, it is the way of how your brain tries to stop you from pain. So instead of believing it, think about a moment when you proved that the thought is wrong. If you want to you can even write it down. Form the limiting beliefs in a positive affirmation.

Example: You want to sell your baked sweets to get a second little income

Limiting belief: It´s ridiculous to think people would pay for them, I´m stupid to even think about it cause there are people with way better baking skills.

Check is this thought true?
No people actually love my cookies and some of my friends already asked me to bake something for their parties, I was just too afraid to ask to get money for it.

Affirmation: I am a fantastic baker. My cakes are delicious and creative decorated and therefore I have lots of happy clients that buy my sweets and even tell there friends about my new business


If you love what you do, there is a big big chance that your side business will be successful, because people can see and feel when you are excited about something.

Changing your beliefs can take some time. But understanding how important your own thinking is and how often your thoughts stop you from reaching your goals is already a big step itself. So I hope the 5 little exercises help you to find your own way to happiness and show you your own values and teached you with which affirmations you can turn around your limiting beliefs. Lastly I just want to say:

Your only limit is your mind.

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27 comments

    1. Hi Nancy thanks a lot.I wrote the post a while ago already but I think especially now that most of us stay at home and have some extra time we can use them for some self-reflection and might even go stronger out of the hole situation 🙂

    1. Hi Mica, thanks so much! I’m in chicago right now. It’s freezing cold but I’m so glad to be here and spend some time with the family of my boyfriend 🙂
      wish you all the best!!

  1. Liebe Tiziana, was für ein großartiger Beitrag und ich denke, jeder von uns kann derartige Anleitungen und Tipps immer mal wieder brauchen. Besonders dein erster Punkt ist meines Erachtens zurzeit total aktuell – das Corona-Virus zeigt uns auf, wie wichtig es „the moment of now“, wie du es so schön genannt hast – zu schätzen und natürlich auch zu leben. Unerwartet trifft uns eine Situation, auf die wir nicht vorbereitet waren, und führt uns vor Augen, dass es nicht immer nach unseren Wünschen und Vorstellungen geht. Daher ist es bedeutend, nicht immer nur in Gedanken an der Vergangenheit zu schwelgen oder Visionen von der Zukunft zu träumen, sondern bewusst die aktuelle Zeit wahrzunehmen.
    Hab einen wunderbaren Abend und alles Liebe

  2. Liebe Tiziana, so ein toller Beitrag und ich glaube, gerade in Zeiten wie jetzt, ganz wichtig für viele. Ich bin absolut der Meinung, dass man jeden Tag an sich selbst arbeiten kann und dass auch die eigene „happiness“ in den eigenen Händen liegt. Natürlich können außerdem Einflüsse immer wieder versuchen, einem diesen Status zu klauen, das beste Beispiel ist die Momentane Coronakrise, aber trotzdem kann man immer weiter an sich arbeiten und dagegensteuern. Vielen Dank für diesen so tollen und wichtigen Post. Pass gut auf dich auf und bleib gesund, alles, alles Liebe zu dir, x S.Mirli
    https://www.mirlime.at

    1. Hey liebe Mirli da hast du absolut Recht!! Ich hatte den Beitrag lustigerweise schon vor ein paar Wochen geschrieben. bevor unsere Reise losging, aber jetzt passt er wirklich perfekt in die Virus-Situation. Hoffe es geht dir gut und du passt gut auf dich auf <3

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