Hello friends, today I would like to talk about a topic that has been important to me in the last years. It seems like losing friendships over the years is part of getting older. You might have developed different interests, priorities and life goals and grown apart from your old buddies. Or you moved to a new place or abroad like me. Making new friends as an adult isn´t that easy for everyone so I share some experiences and tips what had helped me in the last years.
Open up about your desire
The first and most helpful mindset shifter is when you are open and honest about the fact, that you want to find new friends. Tell people, that you would like to get to know more people. Don´t hide it. Give others the chance to introduce you to their inner circle. It might sound scary or weird, but you would be surprised how many people like to introduce you to others.
Expect the Awkwardness
Get ready for feeling awkward and uncomfortable. You will have moments, where you regret going out. You will feel like an outsider, who doesn´t understand inside jokes or the conversation topics. You might even feel weird about how you present yourself and what you said. It´s okay to be nervous, there is no need to over-worry. No one pays as much attention to your behaviour as you do. Better concentrate on getting to know the other people around you.
Go to Events
Visit places you like more frequently and use them to connect with others. Look up events in your favourite bookstores, coffeeshop or cultural institute. Create or join a (sports) club. You will have a shared interest over which you can bond easily. Co-Working spaces are also a great opportunity.
Find Your Community
If you struggle with finding your community, it can help to look for them online. I made very good experiences with Facebook. When I was one year in Australia I searched for my city and occupation. When I moved to Chile I looked up germans in Santiago and created a new group for women my age. Even now that I´m not in Santiago anymore, the girls still regularly meet and are so glad, that I created the group. Instagram can also be helpful to find people in your area or the website of Meet-Up.
Invite People for Friend Dates
If you met someone that you think is cool and with who you could have things in common, suggest an activity. Don´t wait for them to figure it out, reach out to them with an idea and schedule your next meeting quickly! So often the other person is also interested and glad that you wrote to them.
When you met someone, write them a text afterwards to strengthen the connection. Take up your conversation topics again by sending them a recommendation of a podcast, book or person, that might be helpful for them. It will show that you remembered your talk and care about their interests.
Trust and Connect
Be courageous and tell them about your current struggle with something. Show a vulnerable side and trust them with a piece of personal information. This will bring your new connection to a new level and help you to turn it into a real friendship.
What helped you the most to turn new contacts into friendships? Share your tips on how to find friends in the comments below and I wish you all a great week,