When people hear the word long-distance they usually start to moan: Long distance? You guys break up soon anyway or Is that even a real relationship? or even So you have an open relationship and can still make out with others? The answer to all of this is clearly a NO.
Being in a long-distance relationship (short form: LDR) does not mean that it´s just half of a „real“ relationship. But I guess these assumptions exist because everyone just talks about the bad things in a LDR and of course it´s not easy at all. To be honest, if I had the choice to change it, I would do it right away – definitely!
No one chooses a LDR, because they feel more comfortable being away from their loved one. But here´s the thing: there are tons of things that are actually better in a LDR than in a regular one.
So it got me thinking. Is a long distance maybe the best thing that can happen to your relationship?
The Excitement Is Real
One of the coolest things in a LDR is that every single time you see each other your heart beats like crazy. You will have this special prickly feeling, which you normally only have in the first weeks of dating and will keep that feeling for a long while. You will count the days until you finally meet again as if it would be a special event – like the concert of your favourite singer – but way better. Just seeing your loved one will feel like the best thing on earth.
First Moments Over Years
Of course, there is a difference between being a new couple and a couple who already has been in a relationship before and starts a LDR now for a certain time, for example when one of the partners goes abroad for studying or an Aupair year. If you are a new couple and you begin your relationship in a LDR right away, you will have first times spread over years. Things that you normally do in the first couple of weeks will be special for you ´cause it will take a longer time until you can do them with your partner. Like going to the movies, swimming or meeting the parents for the first time or even just spending time with your friends together. But even when you´ve been in a relationship before it will bring your relationship to a new level when you are in a long distance for a while. You will appreciate the time with your partner more and all the things a normal couple has on a daily basis will feel special to you.
Your Life Turns Into An Adventure
When you can´t see your partner or spend time with him / her you will automatically look for other ways to show your love. You will send sweet messages or little treats. Your relationship can actually get a more romantic touch, ´cause who sits down to write a love letter, when you see each other every evening on the couch anyway, right? But in a LDR you try to communicate in as many different ways as possible to show your partner your love and interest.
When you visit your partner you get the opportunity to build like a second little life for yourself too, as you meet his friends and everything. When you live really far away from each other you might have the deal to meet somewhere in the middle of the world, so that not only one is in the aeroplane all the time. I´ve been in a LDR for one and a half years before I decided to move to my boyfriend’s country on the other side of the world. After we lived half a year together, we are currently in a LDR again, as we had to fly back to our own countries because of the current Covid-19 situation. But the nice thing is before this whole pandemic started we had so many adventures together, which we wouldn’t have had in a normal relationship. While we were apart from each other we choose to mostly meet in a new city or country we both haven´t been to before and then explored it together. This is a great way to not only spend money on seeing each other but to create an experience together instead. We had lots of fun in different spots and it gave us great memories to remember together.
Is It For Real?
Another good thing of a LDR is, that you will figure out quickly how much you and the relationship really mean to your partner. You will see the value and if he prioritizes your relationship over other things or if you are maybe not meant to be. One of the sad things about relationships these days is, that some couples are only together to be with someone. Only to not be alone. LDRs are tough – no one would be in one for a long while when they wouldn´t mean it or believe in it. So when you are in a LDR, you can be sure that your partner loves you for who you are and that your relationship is beyond physical attraction. You will see how much your partner is willing to do or to put himself through to make it work. You will see the potential of your relationship and how much he / she cares about you. If you asked yourself if your partner is the one for a lifetime, the one you want to have a family with then a LDR will help you figure it out.
It Brings You Closer To Each Other
When you are miles and miles away from each other, you learn how to trust your partner deeply, because otherwise, the relationship would break easily. You can´t get lost in silly little fights, you choose your battles wisely. You learn how to talk about problems quicker and to solve them without starting to argue as much as you would normally do. You concentrate on the big picture and talk about the future more than you would probably do in a normal relationship. Most LDR are only for a certain time and the couples have a plan, for how it will be when they are back together and live in the same place.
You will get the you against the rest of the world feeling, which brings you closer to your partner, but to be honest, there will be lots of people who give you doubts. Instead of ignoring the doubts of others, you can learn out of them. For example, you will learn, that it doesn’t matter what other people think about your relationship. The only thing that really matters is your feeling and that both of you decided to be in a LDR, to make this relationship work no matter which circumstances you will be in.
In my opinion, it can make a relationship stronger, when you are in a LDR for a while, ´cause you value your relationship wisely. You learn so many things about yourself and how to be independent as an individual. You get to know your partner better, his needs and wishes. You will see the potential of your relationship and if you managed a long distance it will bring you so much closer. You will feel afterwards as if you can manage anything because you survived the long distance. So maybe it´s true and a long distance is the best thing that can happen to your relationship.
How are your experiences? Have you ever been in a LDR or maybe you even are in one currently? Tell me all about it in the comments below and I will love to talk with you about it.
I wish all al of guys a fabulous day!