LDR #2: Why long distance is the best thing that can happen to your relationship

When people hear the word long-distance they usually start to moan: Long distance? You guys break up soon anyway or Is that even a real relationship? or even So you have an open relationship and can still make out with others? The answer to all of this is clearly a NO.

Being in a long-distance relationship (short form: LDR) does not mean that it´s just half of a „real“ relationship. But I guess these assumptions exist because everyone just talks about the bad things in a LDR and of course it´s not easy at all. To be honest, if I had the choice to change it, I would do it right away – definitely!
No one chooses a LDR, because they feel more comfortable being away from their loved one. But here´s the thing: there are tons of things that are actually better in a LDR than in a regular one.
So it got me thinking. Is a long distance maybe the best thing that can happen to your relationship?

Related Posts: How it feels like to be in a long-distance relationship

The Excitement Is Real

One of the coolest things in a LDR is that every single time you see each other your heart beats like crazy. You will have this special prickly feeling, which you normally only have in the first weeks of dating and will keep that feeling for a long while. You will count the days until you finally meet again as if it would be a special event – like the concert of your favourite singer – but way better. Just seeing your loved one will feel like the best thing on earth.

First Moments Over Years

Of course, there is a difference between being a new couple and a couple who already has been in a relationship before and starts a LDR now for a certain time, for example when one of the partners goes abroad for studying or an Aupair year. If you are a new couple and you begin your relationship in a LDR right away, you will have first times spread over years. Things that you normally do in the first couple of weeks will be special for you ´cause it will take a longer time until you can do them with your partner. Like going to the movies, swimming or meeting the parents for the first time or even just spending time with your friends together. But even when you´ve been in a relationship before it will bring your relationship to a new level when you are in a long distance for a while. You will appreciate the time with your partner more and all the things a normal couple has on a daily basis will feel special to you.

Your Life Turns Into An Adventure

When you can´t see your partner or spend time with him / her you will automatically look for other ways to show your love. You will send sweet messages or little treats. Your relationship can actually get a more romantic touch, ´cause who sits down to write a love letter, when you see each other every evening on the couch anyway, right? But in a LDR you try to communicate in as many different ways as possible to show your partner your love and interest.
When you visit your partner you get the opportunity to build like a second little life for yourself too, as you meet his friends and everything. When you live really far away from each other you might have the deal to meet somewhere in the middle of the world, so that not only one is in the aeroplane all the time. I´ve been in a LDR for one and a half years before I decided to move to my boyfriend’s country on the other side of the world. After we lived half a year together, we are currently in a LDR again, as we had to fly back to our own countries because of the current Covid-19 situation. But the nice thing is before this whole pandemic started we had so many adventures together, which we wouldn’t have had in a normal relationship. While we were apart from each other we choose to mostly meet in a new city or country we both haven´t been to before and then explored it together. This is a great way to not only spend money on seeing each other but to create an experience together instead. We had lots of fun in different spots and it gave us great memories to remember together.

Is It For Real?

Another good thing of a LDR is, that you will figure out quickly how much you and the relationship really mean to your partner. You will see the value and if he prioritizes your relationship over other things or if you are maybe not meant to be. One of the sad things about relationships these days is, that some couples are only together to be with someone. Only to not be alone. LDRs are tough – no one would be in one for a long while when they wouldn´t mean it or believe in it. So when you are in a LDR, you can be sure that your partner loves you for who you are and that your relationship is beyond physical attraction. You will see how much your partner is willing to do or to put himself through to make it work. You will see the potential of your relationship and how much he / she cares about you. If you asked yourself if your partner is the one for a lifetime, the one you want to have a family with then a LDR will help you figure it out.

It Brings You Closer To Each Other

When you are miles and miles away from each other, you learn how to trust your partner deeply, because otherwise, the relationship would break easily. You can´t get lost in silly little fights, you choose your battles wisely. You learn how to talk about problems quicker and to solve them without starting to argue as much as you would normally do. You concentrate on the big picture and talk about the future more than you would probably do in a normal relationship. Most LDR are only for a certain time and the couples have a plan, for how it will be when they are back together and live in the same place.
You will get the you against the rest of the world feeling, which brings you closer to your partner, but to be honest, there will be lots of people who give you doubts. Instead of ignoring the doubts of others, you can learn out of them. For example, you will learn, that it doesn’t matter what other people think about your relationship. The only thing that really matters is your feeling and that both of you decided to be in a LDR, to make this relationship work no matter which circumstances you will be in.

In my opinion, it can make a relationship stronger, when you are in a LDR for a while, ´cause you value your relationship wisely. You learn so many things about yourself and how to be independent as an individual. You get to know your partner better, his needs and wishes. You will see the potential of your relationship and if you managed a long distance it will bring you so much closer. You will feel afterwards as if you can manage anything because you survived the long distance. So maybe it´s true and a long distance is the best thing that can happen to your relationship.

Long-Distance really is the best thing that can happen to your relationship Share on X

How are your experiences? Have you ever been in a LDR or maybe you even are in one currently? Tell me all about it in the comments below and I will love to talk with you about it.

I wish all al of guys a fabulous day!

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    1. Hi Cris totally understand you there 🙂 I also like to have some time and space for myself and my own projects. Have a lovely day

  1. Wow, ein richtig toller und interessanter Beitrag! Ich war noch nie in einer Long-Distance Relationship, aber ich kann mir vorstellen, dass es wirklich sehr schwierig und belastend sein kann. Aber ich glaube dir aufs Wort, dass es auch viele gute Seiten gibt bzw. Dinge, die sogar besser sind als in einer „normalen“ Beziehung. Gerade die Sache mit den vielen ersten Malen und dem anhaltenden Excitement kann ich verstehen.

    Kommt dein Freund aus Chile oder seid ihr beide aus euren Heimatländern weggezogen und nach Chile gegangen? 🙂

    Ganz liebe Grüße,
    Krissi von the marquise diamond

    1. Hi Krissi, mein Freund kommt tatsächlich aus Chile und ist jetzt im Moment auch wieder zurück in sein Land. Leider darf ich im Moment nicht einreisen und er wiederum nicht nach Europa, gar nicht so leicht diese Corona-Zeit, aber auch dass kriegen wir schon irgendwie hin 🙂
      Ganz liebe Grüße and dich

  2. This is a great post, friend! 🙂 I’ve never been in a long distance relationship, but I’ve also never looked at them as a bad thing. I know we all want to be close to our person, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make it work if it’s necessary for a certain amount of time. I can definitely see how it could bring a couple closer together overall!

    Make Life Marvelous

  3. Liebe Tiziana, als erstes einmal muss ich dir sagen, wie zauberhaft das Titelbild ist. Ihr strahlt beide so ein Glück und so eine Liebe aus, also das ist doch wohl tatsächlich die beste Werbung für eine LDR und auch wenn man es sich normalerweise ja nicht aussucht, ich glaube dir sofort, dass es auch positive Seiten hat. Mein Mann und ich haben für ein Jahr auch so etwas Ähnliches wie eine Fernbeziehung geführt, wobei Düsseldorf und Graz jetzt nicht so weit auseinander liegen und wir uns an den meisten Wochenende sehen konnte, aber trotzdem war es eine enorme Umstellung weil wir sonst jeden Tag gemeinsam verbracht haben, ABER ich gebe dir absolut recht, die Zeit, die man miteinander verbringt, hat eine ganz andere Wertigkeit und allein das Wiedersehen nach jeder Trennung – allein das ist es schon fast wert. Vielen Dank, dass du deine persönliche Erfahrung hier mit uns teilst, das hilft bestimmt vielen, die in einer ähnlichen Situation sind. Hab eine ganz wundervolle neue Woche, alles, alles Liebe, x S.Mirli

    1. Danke meine Liebe für deine lieben Worte. Na Graz und Düsseldorf liegen ja auch ein ganz schönes Stückchen auseinander, schön dass du und dein Mann diese Zeit „überstanden“ habt und nun zusammen leben könnt. Hab einen guten Tag 🙂

  4. With my husband, back when we’re just boyfriend and girlfriend we went through long distance relationship too. It was hard I’m not gonna lie but we’re calling each other every day and it really made us learn more about each other so I couldn’t agree more with you when you said it brings you closer to each other. And when I see he travelled half of the world to come to visit us It was a good proof to show me how much he loves me.
    Thanks for sharing all your tips here.

    1. Liebe Tiziana, was für unglaublich schöner und gefühlvoller Beitrag und ich finde es einfach toll von dir, dass du den Vorhang hebst und uns einen ganz persönlichen Blick auf eure Beziehung werfen lässt. Es wird dabei so richtig schön dargestellt, wie positiv ihr beide an diese Situation herangegangen seid, dass ihr euch nicht beirren habt lassen und euch einfach auf die schönen Seiten konzentriert habt. Vor allem ist es wohl wichtig, sich nicht von den Mitmenschen beeinflussen zu lassen. Eine richtige LDR kenne ich nicht, aber mein Gatte und ich haben die ersten beiden Jahre nach dem Kennenlernen in einer Wochenendbeziehung gelebt und so ist mir doch Einiges von deinen Punkte – sicherlich in etwas abgeschwächter Form – gleich mal bekannt vorgekommen. Übrigens, ein ganz wunderbares Bild von euch beiden und es so schön zu sehen, wie ihr euch voller Liebe anblickt. Ich wünsche euch auch in euer mittlerweilen 2. LDR weiterhin alles Gute, ihr seid ja bereits erprobt und wisst, wie es funktioniert. Hab einen wunderbaren Abend und alles Liebe

    1. Hi Mia oh thanks so much!! And yes it’s wonderful to live together after being long distance, but I know what you mean, sometimes it can be nice to not see each other all the time and take it for granted. Wish you both all the best!

  5. These are some great observations. I used to be in a LDR a few years ago and I remember the excitement of being able to spend a few days with them, and how it was always packed of exciting things to do. x

  6. We did long distance for a few months after we met and it was such an emotionally charged time – exciting and difficult at the same time! We’ve been together for 20 years now – it does work! Stay positive, lovely!

  7. Ein sehr schöner Beitrag, den ich eigentlich nur so unterschreiben kann. Ich habe die letzten drei Jahre auch eine Fernbeziehung gefühlt, es war nicht leicht, aber es hat funktioniert. Trotzdem war dann die Aussicht, dass sich unsere wohnliche Situation in den nächsten Jahren nicht ändern wird, weil keiner bereit für einen Kompromiss war, einer der Gründe, warum es am Ende nicht geklappt hat. Aber ich denke es hat auch immer viel mit den Personen selbst zu tun. Wenn beide es gleichermaßen wollen, dann kann es auch wirklich gut klappen!
    Liebe Grüße

    1. Hi Sarah oh das tut mir Leid, dass es bei euch leider nicht so gut ausgegangen ist. Drei Jahre sind wirklich eine lange Zeit für eine Fernbeziehung. Auch wenn diese Beziehung leider nicht mehr besteht, hast du mit Sicherheit viel gelernt und ich hoffe dass du bald schöne neue Erfahrungen mit jemanden anderen machen kannst 🙂

  8. Beautiful post and you two make a lovely couple!

    I have been in a year long LDR before and it was truly one of a kind experience. LDRs are just as serious as any other types of romantic relationships. When both sides are equally involved and looking forward to creating a future together, LDRs can really bloom. If your feelings are strong enough to survive long distance, then there is not much that can break a bond like this.
    Wishing all the best to you and your loved one xx


  9. I always love reading when people find success in LDR’s! It makes you appreciate each other even better. Totally agree with the adventures, especially if you spend some money going to see each other every so often. Thanks for sharing all of this!

    Nancy ♥ exquisitely.me

  10. Hi Tiziana,
    sehr interessant, deine Gedanken dazu zu lesen! Ich habe mir auch oft überlegt, wie ich wohl mit einer Fernbeziehung umgehen würde (hatte selbst noch nie eine). Ich kenne auch einige Paare, die das machen bzw. viele Jahre gelebt haben und auch sehr gut damit fahren und glücklich sind.
    Manchmal denke ich, dass es einigen Paaren nicht schaden würde, wenn sie sich weniger sehen und mehr auf sich selbst konzentrieren würden 😀

    1. Hallo liebe Vanessa haha ja da hast du Recht, manchmal tut einem ein bisschen Abstand und eigene Hobbies oder auch Lebensziele ganz gut 🙂

  11. This is such an interesting post, and I agree, it really can strengthen a relationship! I find it interesting to see how couples fare when apart, and think that its an important thing that everyone should experience.

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