Airports are the happiest and sadest places on earth for someone who is in a long distance relationship (LDR). They are the place to welcome your significant other, to fall in your arms and kiss over and over again, but they are also the place where you need to say goodbye while looking at the security gate with tears in your eyes ´cause you can´t believe your time is over again.
If you always wondered what it feels like to be in a LDR or if you are thinking about starting one by yourself, this might help you to understand the special kind of love that keeps a LDR running.
How it feels like
The best way to describe a LDR is as a constant counting. So I guess the perfect symbol to describe the feeling, which you get in a long distance relationship, would be a clock. Most of the time it´s a constant counting of hours, until you see the other person again. And as soon as you finally hug your partner there starts a new clock. It counts down the days, hours, minutes and seconds until your time together is over – until you have to say goodbye again. It´s a mixture or excitement and sadness at the same time.
I´ve been in a long distance relationship for one and a half year and my partner lived on the other side of the world – 12.268 kilometers away, almost a full day of flying. If you live so far away from each other you have to fully trust your partner. You need a strong bond, ´cause in a fight situation you can´t just go over to the other persons house, just see him or her.
So some of you might think now, that the distance might be a criterion to value how easy it will be or how high the chances are to make a LDR work. But in my opinion it doesn´t really matter if you only live in different cities or different continents. Of course it´s easier when you are able to see each other more often or when you have the same timezone, but it´s still up to the two partners if it´s going to work out or not. Only if both are really into the relationship and are willing to make it a priority to see each other regularly it has a chance.
Starting a LDR
So first of all if you´re thinking about starting a LDR the first thing you should know about, is that you need a lot of patience. Most of the time you will spend separately and it´s important that you are not only counting down all the time until you get to see each other again. You should use the time wisely and enjoy it while concentrating on your own goals, your hobby or work. One of the good things of a LDR is that you have lots of time you can spend with your other loved ones like your friends and family. You won´t be one of those girls (or boys) who disappears only because they are in a new relationship. A LDR forces you to be independent and learn how to handle things on your own. It gives you the opportunity to get to know yourself better and your needs and wishes for a relationship in particular.
Even though there are lots of cool things you could use the extra free time you get for, there will be lonely moments as well. On a bad day you might come home from work and feel the need to hug your significant other or talk to the person you love which might be not always possible comparing to different time zones. Be prepared that it will be tough.
You will miss your partner, and there is nothing you can do about it. Nothing that could protect you from the sadness of such a moment. In those moments we try to not concentrate on the missing itself, but rather on the good feeling of when we will see each other again. So the very worst is actually when we don´t have a specific date, when we know we will meet again. We always try to decide that as early as possible, mostly before we have to say goodbye.
How to make it work
So when you miss your partner you need to focus on the big picture. Most LDRs are just for a counted time. A few months, a year or two. So on tough days use other ways to show your partner how much she/he means to you. Send a picture to show where you are and what you are doing right now. Include your partner in your daily routine and show your most important habits or the people you meet. Send a speech message and sing a goodnight song or tell your partner a little story of your day. Or even when you only write a text message it will probably make the other person smile. It´s important to strengthens the connection.
Not all days are tough though. Sometimes your experience something marvelous. Something amazing happens to you and you couldn´t be more happy. On those moments I sometimes miss my partner even more. It hits me so hard. ´Cause when you are experiencing something wonderful, you always wish you could share it with the one you love.
In a LDR you learn a lot about yourself, your partner and your relationship. I actually think it can make a relationship stronger when you are apart for a while from your partner.
You learn that your relationship in beyond physical attraction.
You also learn that it doesn´t matter what other people think. The only thing that really matters is your feeling.
And you learn how to trust deeply.
So what keeps me going is the thought of our next date. When I will see him again in the airport crossing the security line I know I will be the happierst girl on the world running into his arms. I will feel all the waiting was worth it and will appreciate deeply the days that we can spend together. The thought of this welcome-moment is what keeps me going, what motivates me. And I know with every day that passes on, it will bring me closer to the day where I see my loved one again.
Nobody wants to be in a long distance relationship, but sometimes love finds you in unexpected places.
Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship? What are you experiences and do you think it can actually work?