LIVING ABROAD – How to overcome struggles and loneliness

Moving abroad sounds like a dream come true and we often look at it in this glamorous movie kinda way, but the reality is very different. Today I´d like to share some of my experiences with you and talk about the things that helped me to settle in easier.

I lived overseas in four parts of the world. Now that I´m having a partner, who is also from a different country, I´m sure that in the future we will live in a few new places. I´m a german girl, who lived in Spain for a couple of month, in Australia for almost a year, in Chile for half a year and until July I´m for one year in France. Until this point I have absolutely no idea where me and my partner will move next. It could be back to Latin America or somewhere completely new. It´s very likely that it will be a new country again, depending on where he will get the best job offer. Moving to a new country can be exciting, but it comes with lots of struggles and sometimes even loneliness. So if you just moved to a new place or are thinking about living abroad, here are some of the things, that helped me to feel like home in the new environment.

Be Open For Change

First I want to say that it´s totally normal, that you will struggle. Depending on where you move there will be language barriers and cultural differences. It will be challenging and part of your personal growth might be, that you start questioning some of your own habits and behaviors. Moving abroad is leaving your comfort zone, the sooner you accept the change the more you will enjoy it.

Explore Your Environment Quickly

Especially in the first two weeks I recommend to explore your new neighborhood as quickly as possible. Make it your mission to get to know all the streets and surroundings. Find the nearest grocery store, a place where you can go for exercise, a library and all the other spots that you loved in your old city.

Say Yes

If you are exhausted and tired, which will be happen quickly in a new place, cause your brain is so overwhelmed from all the new experiences, promise yourself one thing: Do not stay in, please go out. And believe me I´ve been there. So often. And I would have preferred to lay on the coach and watch a series, often I did. But with my last two moves abroad I learned that the quicker and the more you go out in the first two weeks, the easier and more comfortable it will get for you afterwards. Take every opportunity that you can see, try out new things and give people a chance to get to know you. You never know where it will lead you.

Plan Daily Human Interactions

If you are someone who struggles with meeting new people and is not naturally outgoing, than set yourself a goal of talking to strangers for 5 minutes a day. It can be starting to chat a bit with your cashier at the supermarket, someone in a café or the train. You might feel frightened by it in the beginning, cause everything feels scary and new, but the more you get to know the people in your new place the less lonely you will feel. You can have human interactions almost everywhere, if you want to. Those small interactions will also help you when you start to learn a new language.

Make Building Connections Your Highest Goal

When you move abroad you leave your trusted network at home, so it´s important to fill those spots with new people. Concentrate actively on making new friends everywhere. Whenever you meet someone, that you think is nice ask them to go for a walk or a coffee. You might think that you don´t have much in common with the person, give it a shot anyways! Even if at the end you do not get along, you learned something new about your city. There is a high chance that you meet new people over that person and most people are really open when they hear that you are new in a place and offer some help or will introduce you or invite you to events. Especially when you move to a place with or for your partner it´s very important to find your own friends as well.

Find Your Community

Something that I underestimated in the beginning is finding a community. This could be online or in person. A sport, a book club, a religious group – whatever you are interested in. When I moved to Chile I looked up a Facebook Group of germans in Chile and found some amazing girls on that side. By posting in the group I created a girls group. They were all super happy about it too, cause they have been living in Chile without knowing each other and we went for weekly dinners and even now that I´m not living in Chile anymore we are in contact. I can also recommend the website MeetUp where you find people to go to events together.

Share Your Adventures

Share your journey with others. You are making a ton of unique and super interesting experiences. Write them down, share them with the world over Instagram, a Blog or Youtube. Or it could be just for you in a diary or a scrapbook mixed with all the pictures and ticket cards of things you did. I love going back in time, when I look at the picture books of the last years with all the little crazy moments, that I might have forgotten already. This will also help you to realize how far you came. All the little and big struggles, one day in the future you will look back and smile cause after all you learned so much from them and managed them all.

Don´t Go Home (too quickly)

The worst you can do is going back before you settled in in your new place, cause you will just start missing stuff and people even more. Wait a few weeks or even months, until you really feel connected and have friends. Make sure you have something you are looking forward to go back to. The funny thing is, the longer you are away from your home country, the more you will realize how much you´ve outgrown it. Nevertheless stay connected with you family and friends from your home country. Invite them to visit you instead. Let them see that you have a new life and you want them to be a part of it.

It Will Take Time

Trust the process and it give it the time that it needs. You might not find a new best friend in the first month, but that doesn´t mean that you wont get there at all. Or your new job or job colleagues might be different from what you expected, don´t give up. Often it takes more time than you think not only for you to settle in, but also for the others around to get used to you. Don´t be harsh to yourself, when things don´t go as planend or when you feel like failing. It´s all part of the process and often the change comes in the moments, were you expect it the least.

Now it´s time to tell some of your experiences with me! Have you ever lived abroad? What helped you to settle in?

I wish you all an amazing adventure,

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13 comments

  1. Hi Tiziana,
    ein sehr spannender Beitrag! Ich habe noch nie im Ausland gelebt, bin bisher nur innerhalb Deutschlands umgezogen. Ich denke, gerade die Kultur kennen zu lernen und sich selbst nicht zu sehr hängen zu lassen, sind die schwierigsten, aber auch wichtigsten Punkte, um sich einzuleben. Total spannend, diese Einblicke zu geben und auch toll, dass du selbst beschreibst, dass es Arbeit ist und nicht alles von alleine geht, denn ich glaube, manche Menschen haben oft auch extrem hohe Erwartungen und sind dann enttäuscht, weil auch im Ausland irgendwann ein Alltag eintritt.
    Liebe Grüße!!

  2. These are great tips! I hope they help other people who have just moved to a different country 🙂 Lovely photos too!

    Hope you had a good weekend and that your week is off to a nice start 🙂

  3. Love these tips, I’m sure they will be very helpful to those going through a move to a new place. I have lived in the same state my entire life, so it would be hard for me to imagine the difficulties of moving to a new country. I admire how well you’ve handled moving new places and that you’ve truly embrace new adventures. 🙂

    Make Life Marvelous

  4. Hey Tiziana, hope you’re doing good!

    I really enjoyed this post, as you I’ve been living in many different places and sometimes I feel that I should settle down, but at the same time I love to get around and discover new places, new possibilities and new ways to understand life from different perspectives.

    All your comments are really valuable and I hope they can be useful for many people, specially after collecting many experiences. By the way I didn’t know you lived in Spain, where?!

    I hope you get adapted soon to your new home, I moved from Mexico to Barcelona 5 years ago but sometimes I still feel like I am floating in a bubble, but little by little I feel that it is my home 🙂

    Best!
    Pablo
    http://www.heyfungi.com

  5. Liebe Tiziana, ein Auslandssemester oder ein berufliches Auslandsjahr hört sich auf den ersten Blick meist einfach nur toll an – doch es gibt dabei auch Einiges zu bedenken, vor allem wenn man diese Zeit alleine antritt. Ich habe dies zwar selbst noch nie gemacht, aber zwei Familienmitglieder sind beruflich im näheren und ferneren Ausland und da habe ich doch auch Vieles quasi mitgefühlt und miterlebt. Dabei ist immer wieder dieser Punkt durchgeschimmert, dass man selbst sehr aktiv sein muss, dass man selbst auf die anderen zugehen muss und nicht erwarten kann, dass dies von anderen übernommen wird. Auch bestimmte Organisationen sind dabei immer wieder mal gerne eine Hilfe. Doch wirklich herausfordernd sehe ich das in dieser unsicheren Zeit, wie wir sie durch Corona eben erleben und was du auch selbst schon erfahren musstest. Daher finde ich deine Zusammenstellung dieser Punkte wirklich gelungen.
    Hab einen ganz wunderbaren Abend und alles Liebe Gesa

  6. Thanks for the great trips Tiziana! I moved to Berlin years ago but in many ways I’ve had to start again, so some of the tips apply, Trying to start over socially in a pandemic is challenging but luckily I’m a creative, so I’m able to meet new people via projects, social media etc. Have a lovely week, Xo

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